The Price of Being A Spy
by CookiesN'Cream124
Summary: Zach finds Cammie a year after she leaves, and she refuses to come home...
1. Chapter 1

**I'm in a very quote-y mood today, and I was reading some quotes of my favorite authors online during my open block at school (I am a terrible procrastinator. I have two papers to write, but instead I was reading quotes and thinking about a new FF story... when I already have two multi-chaps in progress) There were two quotes that really caught my attention and I immediately thought of Cammie. I literally wrote this in 2 hours, so apologies for any mistakes.  
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**The quotes are bolded, and I'll tell you who they're from at the bottom.**

**This story's characters and the quotes are officially disclaimed.**

15 minutes and 20 seconds ago, I walked into my hotel room to eat and sleep after evading tails all day. Through a comms unit I stole off a little freshman, I heard that grades 9 through 12 at Gallagher and Blackthorne were tasked with finding me and tailing me. I laughed when I heard that. Humbleness is definitely my strong suit, but right now, even I can tell you that I am much, much better than anyone at either school. So really, instead of _being_ tailed, I was tail_ing. _I spent the entire day listening to the comms and watching my friends try and find me. The only person I didn't see was Zach. I was only spotted a few times, and only identified once, but a quick change of disguise fixed that.

After I saw them leave in their vans, I went back to my hotel. I walked into the cheap room, and looked around at the generic paintings on the wall, and the dime-a-dozen furnishings scattered around. As I was making my way to the closet, I heard a faint rustling of clothing behind me. I braced myself and when I felt a hand on my shoulder, and grabbed my attackers arm and flipped him onto the floor. I pinned him down and had a Napotine patch in my hand, literally a millimeter away from slapping it on his forehead… That is, until he spoke.

"Cammie."

My eyes widened in recognition. It was a voice I hadn't heard in weeks. And as much as I loved that voice, that smirk, that cockiness…. It was a voice I had hoped I would never have to hear again. I released my hold on him and stood up.

"Why are you here?" I said, more like a statement than a question. I moved to the window and peeked around the curtains.

"For you, obviously," He said.

"I'm not going back," I told him.

"Why not? You left your best friends, your sisters, your mother, and you left me. We haven't seen you in over a year, and you defeated the Circle 8 months ago! You're just going to keep putting us through the pain of not having you with us?"

"It's not my home anymore."

"How can you say that? We are all there. We, the people you love, make it your home."

"Zach," I said, as I turned around to face him, "You talk about me putting you through so much pain by not coming back, when you don't even know the definition of the word. You don't know what I've been through. You couldn't even comprehend half of it. I still love you guys, and you all think you still love me, but I'm not the Cammie you think you know. Not anymore. I've been through too much. I've seen, and felt too much pain to ever be the same again. And as much as it hurts now, I'm saving you from a lifetime of hurt."

"Cammie, that's not true."

"Yes, it is. Letting me go now, it will hurt for a little while. Until you find someone else and other interests, and the memories of me will fade away with time. But If I come back, you'll be haunted by the memories of who I used to be forever. I'm not the girl you fell in love with. And the sooner you all realize that I can never come back and be with you, and be _there_ for you like I was before, the sooner you can move on. You just have to except the fact that I don't have a home anymore. But you do."

"I'm not going to leave you."

"Yes you are. **Moments, when lost, cannot be found again. They're just gone. **Our moment is gone, Zach. And we will never get it back. It's time for you to let go." I could feel the back of my eyes start burning, and my vision got blurry. I quickly blinked the tears away.

"I can't," he whispered.

"But you have to," I choked out. "This is my life now. The life of a spy. I live from mission to mission. With no attachments, no permanence, nothing to lose, and nothing to hold me back. We've all been naïve, to think that we can be a spy and have everything, everybody, we want. And think that everyone will always be there. I've learned the hard way that that is as far from the truth as you can get. Don't make the mistake of putting yourself through that lesson. But make sure you have no regrets. It hurts now, I know. But I cherish every single second I spent with you. And I always will. Give everyone my love, but tell them to let go. Take care of them for me."

"I will."

And then he did something unexpected. I was about to walk past him to open the door, but much like that day in the hall's of Gallagher, when we said goodbye for the first time, I felt his arms go around my waist, and my world turned upside down. But for the first time in a long time, it was the good kind of upside-down-ness. We held nothing back. We poured all of our anger and hurt and pain into that one last kiss, and it was amazing. Until we realized that this was also goodbye. I broke it off.

"You need to go." I said, slightly out of breath, "I'll love you forever. But we need to move on."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Do it for me. Because I can't put you through anymore than I already have. Just go."

I turned around as he reluctantly walked away.

"Gallagher Girl," he said. I didn't turn around. "I won't forget you, and you're crazy to think I would."

"Yes you will," I whispered, when I heard the door click shut. And for the first time in over a year, I finally let the tears fall.

**This MIGHT be a two-shot. I wrote two chapters, but I don't like the second one as well, so if you want a chapter 2, you HAVE to let me know in a review! If anything just type yes or no and I'll know what you mean. I have it uploading on here already, so if you guys want it, I will post it on Sunday.  
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**The quote I used, "Moments, when lost, cannot be found again." Is by Jenny Ham, from her book 'The Summer I Turned Pretty'**

**Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm really sad right now…. We just had our last basketball game of the season yesterday, and I feel like a loser cuz I started packing my gym bag with my basketball stuff and my practice jersey for tomorrow... FAAAAIIILLLL. But yeah, a little bit depressed cuz I'm gonna be sitting at home doing nothing after school tomorrow. But FF makes me feel better :)**

**So as promised, the second chapter of this story. I do warn you, I don't think it's very good, and the ending is a little abrupt, but that's my opinion, so read it and let me know yours!**

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><p>It's been a year since Zach found me. And since then, I haven't had any tails, so I'm guessing he got my point across. I was leaving for another mission tomorrow, so I was cleaning out my apartment. I never stay somewhere for more than a year, and since I moved here a week after he came, I was about ready to leave.<p>

I had one more thing to get rid of, and that was the couch. I was giving it to a neighbor across the hall, so I moved it to the door where the parents' two sons were going to come and get it. Aside from the various loose change, batteries, and junk where the couch used to be, there was also a spiral-bound notebook that I remembered throwing there after Zach left. I opened it to the first page, and read over the list I had compiled that night:

_**Memories and milestones from age 5 to present:**__  
>A list by Cammie Morgan.<em>

5. How old I was when I found out what my parents _real_ job was. (I thought they were lying)  
>6. Our house got blown up, and I finally believed that my parents weren't lying.<br>7. I got my black belt in Karate. (I also climbed Mt. Everest)  
>8. The first time I successfully used the Jankowski maneuver (you need Level 6 clearance to even HEAR the name.)<br>9. I discovered my uncanny ability to disappear and blend in. The Chameleon was born. (I snuck away from my parents at a mall after stealing my dad's wallet to go buy a shirt that I REALLY wanted.)  
>10. I knew how to speak 5 languages.<br>11. My dad disappeared (I found him)  
>12. I couldn't have a birthday party because my mom was in Malaysia looking for said father. (That's where they last found documentation of him.)<br>13. How old I was when I came to Gallagher.  
>14. My first mission. (That Macey, Bex, and Liz still don't know about.)<br>15. Fell in love with civilian. HUGE mistake.  
>16. Secret and thought-to-be-dead terrorist organization targets me. (Still don't exactly know why.)<br>16. Fell in love with secretive spy boy whose mother is head of said terrorist organization.  
>17. Ran away to find answers, while hiding from the COC.<br>18. Changed, emotionally and physically, after defeating COC. Said secretive spy boy found me. And as much as I wanted to kiss him forever and go home, I pushed him away. (IDIOT!)

I smiled as I read that last word. I haven't regretted the choices I've made over the past few years, but reading that makes me rethink. I left my family and former home because I was hurting, and didn't want to subject them to a lifetime of pain. But **how is a person supposed to prepare for what happens tomorrow, when there's just no figuring out today? **Why did I worry about their lifetime, when we don't know if we'll make it through the day?

I laugh as I go through the conversation we had in my head. I was such an idiot. I wasn't doing it to protect them, I was doing it to shield myself from more hurt. I wasn't living a life as a spy, I was living the life of a coward. But no more. With time, everything heals. And even though I'll never be exactly the same, I'm still Cammie. And I'm going back.

I picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. While it was ringing, I added something else to the list.

19. I go home.

I threw the notebook in a random bag by the phone as I heard someone pick up on the other end.

"Community Impact Assessment Center, how may I direct your call?" A too-cheery voice said.

"Agent Cameron Ann Morgan, 0538124, Director please," I spouted out without even thinking about it.

"One moment," A more official voice said

"Hello?" A familiar voice said.

"Hey, Joe." I replied.

"Cammie? Aren't you getting ready for another FBI mission?"

"Not anymore. I'm coming home. Make sure everyone is at Gallagher, and don't tell them I'm coming." I smiled to myself.

"Okay, but why now?" He asked.

"Because it's taking me this long to find myself again. Just make sure everyone's there." I hung up before he got a chance to reply.

Next I called the airport to cancel my flight and get an earlier one to Richmond, Virginia. I arranged for a car to be waiting for me when I got there. My flight left in two hours, but since my bags were already packed, it wouldn't be a problem. By the time I got to the airport and checked all my baggage, it was boarding time.

When we landed, I arranged to have my bags delivered to Gallagher, and got in my car, a Ferrari Scuderia Spider 16M, definitely my style. I drove from Richmond to Roseville in an hour flat, and pulled into the gates of Gallagher after greeting bubble-gum guard, who looked a little bit surprised to see me.

When I walked in the front doors, I heard my mother talking in the dining hall, and heard her call up the new teachers to introduce themselves. Among the introductions, I picked out Bex, Liz, Grant, and Zach's voices. And when the introductions were over, I made my entrance.

I opened the dining hall doors and everyone turned towards me, and walking in tall and proud, I announced loudly, "And I am Cammie Morgan. And I'm home."

And for the first time ever, I saw Zachary Goode _smile_.

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><p><strong>The quote in this chapter, "How is a person supposed to prepare for what happens tomorrow, when there's just no figuring out today," Is also by Jenny Ham, from another book of hers, 'Shug'.<strong>

**Let me know what you thought!**


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